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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4630707
Review #4630707
Viewing a review of:
Eternity  [13+]
Be careful what you wish for...
by Jeff
Review of Eternity  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
This made me laugh. Now there's a ghastly carousel to put one off eternal life forever! I should have seen it coming, having written a few stories around the idea of a fountain of youth or a return to life from death rescinded, but this little tale caught me napping. Nicely done indeed.

I found nothing wrong with the writing and would have nothing to say as a result, but I noticed a lone typo in this phrase: "when a glowing, shimmering pool caught out attention. " That errant T in "out" should be an R, of course. Otherwise the tale is told in a brisk, economic style ideal for short stories, and heads like an arrow for its denouement.

A most enjoyable read.


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Beholden


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