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Given: Feb 5, 2022 at 4:27pm
Length: 1,776 Characters |
1,386 w/o WritingML
Greetings, stolenthrones, I am reviewing this today as a judge for the "Writing 4 Kids" . You are one of fourteen entries and I appreciate your entry!
First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest.
Visually appealing Followed the prompt & rules
First Impression: You've done a great job on your meter and rhymes. You obviously have a knack for that. I like how you begin this piece with how a child might pronounce shoes, followed by the mother correcting the pronunciation.
Recommendation(s): You might consider using quotation marks for the dialogue. Also, I was a little confused with little miss two and little miss three. Are they the child's little sisters? I read it a few times through because it wasn't clear at first. Just a thought, but you might think about Little Sister 2 and Little Sister 3 or something similar.
Favorites:None but her mother with shoes in hand chasing after. This is a fun visual! A great way to end this piece.
Final thoughts: You really have a knack for children's poetry. I enjoyed reading this and I hope to see more of your entries in the future!
Thank you for entering. Best of luck in the contest.
Have a great day and... K e e p on W r i t i n g ! Cubby ")
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