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 Review #4710867 |
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| (4.0)| Hello Blank  Hapoy WDC Birthday! This is a review on behalf of "Angel Review Forum" [ASR] This is only my views. Please use or discard as you're comfortable with.   Nice writing about a person sitting to think about what words to pen to paper. How well will the muse kick in this time? Title and Description - Nice title that caught my attention. The description urged me to read on. Theme/Subject Matter:- The writer's relationship with their muse.  Characters - The writer who sits and quiets his/her mind to let the muse come in and work their magic. Originality/Creativity:- Nice creative writing about a writer and their muse. An original take on something we all wish would spend more time with us.   Emotion/Impact: - As a writer/artist it was easy to relate to. My Suggestions - I have a few suggestions. Please use them or discard them as you see fit: Sometimes, I like to sit.Sit, and think about you. Sometimes I like to sit Still and think about you. The comma isn't needed. Instead of repeating 'Sit' try showing the action of sitting.  Instead I turn to write,Drowning, in white pages: Filling the lines with ink. Ink, expressing my Muse. Instead, I turn to write, Drowning in white pages. Filling the lines with ink Expressing my Muse. A comma is needed after 'Instead'. The comma isn't needed after 'Drowning'. Replace the semi-colon with a period after the word 'pages'. I'd lose the comma after ink and delete the repeated word 'ink'.  I’m not ready, for love.The comma is not needed. Becomes unsteady, held-Only, by your arms. And I can only watch. Becomes unsteady, held Solely by your arms, And I can only watch.  Is only, in my mind.Romanticized by my head, Delirious from hurt. And I turn my head down, Back to the white pages. Writing, writing, writing. Is only in my mind Romanticized by my head. Delirious from the pain, I bow my head down Back to the white pages  My Favorite Part: -I love the nice strong ending. It's easily relatable. Summary: Thank you so much for sharing your writing with us. I enjoyed it.  KEEP ON WRITING ON!  Intuey  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 09/07/2023 @ 5:38pm EDT