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 Review #4712457 |
The Concern  [GC] Intolerance at its worse between siblings. Adult material.  |
| (4.0)| Hello Ironworker This is a review on behalf of "Angel Review Forum" [ASR] This is only my views. Please use or discard as you're comfortable with.   Good story with a strong opening, a middle that kept me interested, and a surprise ending. Nicely done.  Title and Description - Good title and description. I didn't understand why you had this rated GC. 18+ would suffice. Also, I noticed that one of your categories is LGBTQ. But I didn't see anything pertaining to this category in your story. You can change out that category for Drama or Mystery. A lot of readers find your writing by looking up genres. It may help pull in more readers.  Theme/Subject Matter:- An old fight between brothers reaches a climax. Will the ultimate sin be committed? Or will forgiveness reign? Characters - Good job with the characters. I was able to get to know each one pretty well as I read. Originality/Creativity:- An original story told in a creative way. Setting - A pretty good job on setting. You could have included a bit more so each scene would be easier to visualize. But not a bad job at all. Emotion/Impact: - Tension mounts as the story continues. My Suggestions - looked back him filledlooked back at him filled  fun filledfun-filled  today dad?”today Dad?"  thank momthank Mom later looking up recognizinglater he looked up, and recognized  Joann gettingJoann gets  want to set.”want to set?" Taking his eyes He took his eyes  for for you my perfectyou, my perfect Summary: Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. I enjoyed it. KEEP ON WRITING ON!  Intuey  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 09/19/2023 @ 1:15am EDT