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 Review #4737677 |
 | The Jewel Thief  [13+] Writer's Cramp, January 16 2024 (Winner) & Newbie Poetry Contest, February 2024 (Winner)  |
| Hello, Dave Ryan! I'm reviewing your piece as one of the judges from the Newbie Poetry Contest.  Overall Impression:Absolute laugh out loud hilarity from start to finish. Form, Rhythm, Cadence, and Style:At the time of reviewing, you don't mention anywhere if this a form. I'm being picky here - what you've presented look like a form. Maybe it's a form you invented. Maybe it isn't a form at all. As a reader, I'd be interested to know if this is something I could look up and explore, or if this is something I'd be cribbing directly from you. As a judge, we're always looking to how a piece stacks up to any form we're evaluating. With all the contests around, it's a good habit to get into including both your line (or word) count, and any form used. If you don't use a form, you can indicate "rhyme pattern "xyxyxyxy" or "no form." Beyond that nitpick, the poem flows beautifully, and the style is wonderful. Your voice comes through loud and clear. Content:Can I insert a big, bold "LOL" here and call it a day? You've made great use of the prompt, and put an unexpected spin on it. There are so many fantastic lines in here, I couldn't possibly list them all. All of your asides - the unicycle only passing by on Fridays, the policeman, the cake...it was all wonderful. Grammar and Mechanics:I found no problems. Final Thoughts:What a wonderful addition to the contest. Thank you for entering. Thank you for sharing your work with us! Jayne   My approach to reviews: "I'll Explain, but not Disclaim"
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You responded to this review 03/18/2024 @ 3:56am EDT