%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4745964 |
 | Invalid Item  [] |
| (4.5)| GAMES OF THRONES STORY REVIEW This is a review for "Invalid Item" from House Targaryen for "Game of Thrones"  The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.  THE STORYSofia becomes the new rider for Midnight Fury, but what makes her so special?  WHAT I LIKEDI felt like I was a spectator at the circus, in the cheap seats, watching the show of a lifetime.  POV NARRATION/TENSEThis is told in the third person limited from Sofia's perspective. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately. DIALOGUEThere's a small blend of dialogue and narration. The dialogue accents the narration. Dialogue tags are used appropriately. DESCRIPTIONSThere's enough to set the scenes. I liked: "Her heart pounded like hooves on the ground as she relived her childhood days of bareback riding through the untamed sagebrush on her family's ranch." -- The author uses a nice economy of words which makes it easy to visualize in the imagination, but not only that there's that nice of emotion as well. Sofia is thrilled to be at the circus. SETTINGTIME: modern day? PLACE: circus This is something that isn't necessarily clarified for the reader, but in the context of the story, I'm not sure it needs to be. Well it would be nice for the reader to know the "time" modern versus the 1950's, overall, the story works without out. CHARACTERSSofia Sofia wants to leave home and she feels the circus will afford her that opportunity, but first she has to pass "the test.'  MECHANICSI did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. The story is easy to read. Good use of WDC ML to make it easy on the reader's eyes. PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONSThe opening engages the reader. This circus is "up to something," and that's where the mystery comes in. Is there magic? Good or bad? What makes the horse and Sofia for that matter special? It's up to reader to determine, but for certain, this is a great story to a longer story, should the author flesh that out. \ Reviewed by StephB for House Targaryen  }
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You responded to this review 04/17/2024 @ 6:19pm EDT