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Review #4750636
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Rated: | (4.5)
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Hi Roseille ♥ Author Icon,

I am reviewing your short story, "Invalid Item" Open in new Window., as one of the judges for March's official contest, "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window.. Thanks for entering, and good luck!

This review is in affiliation with "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.. Please remember any views are purely my own, and any advice is given with the sole intention of being helpful.


What I liked: Your imagination. I loved how unique this story was.

*Bulletv* Right from the beginning, this story is magical. The mention of Terese being the willow-touched Queen of Foresse hooked me instantly. I wanted to know who she was, what this title meant, and also why she was so mean about her daughter, Vanis. As I continued reading, I found myself really feeling bad for Vanis. All she wants, as a child, is for her mother to be kind to her, to love her. Surely, that's what all children want, so I felt sad that Vanis wasn't getting it. This is a great example of that need for love and attention: "Sometimes, she just wanted her mother’s eyes on her, even if they were not kind."

*Bulletv* Vanis is very hardworking, and through this she learns how to become a great healer of crops and plants and animals. She never has the natural-born gift, though, like her mother had. But she works really hard and becomes excellent in what she does. The part where Vanis heals an old woman's withering garden is really moving. " ...the warmth of the woman’s hands and words made Vanis cry."

*Bulletv* Another place where I felt moved was when Terese finally said,"Good," in response to Vanis's work. " ...that one word on Terese’s tongue was better than any drug." I love that.


Suggestions: I wasn't sure about the end. I thought it happened a bit quickly. After Vanis's son is born, I was expecting something big to happen. I thought he would be evil, or something. However, I think he was born to be great. He seems gentle and mild, like his father. But the story seemed to finish quickly. The last line, "Vanis wanted only to see him wither." made me feel a little differently about Vanis. I thought maybe she was more like her mother than I'd thought before. And I didn't want to feel like that about Vanis.


Parting comments: I really enjoyed this story. Your descriptive powers are fantastic. You pulled me right inside the story world, and it was an interesting place to be.


Choconut
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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 05/20/2024 @ 11:02pm EDT
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