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 Review #4750637 |
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| (5.0)| Hi Dee  ,I am reviewing your short story, "Invalid Item" , as one of the judges for March's official contest, "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest" . Thanks for entering, and good luck!This review is in affiliation with "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" . Please remember any views are purely my own, and any advice is given with the sole intention of being helpful.What I liked: The way you incorporate music into every sentence of this story is clever, unique and very entertaining.  This story takes place over a short period of time and in one place. But in that short period, you fill us with the sounds of violin and cello, from the anticipation of the orchestra and audience. You pull your readers right inside that music hall. From the first sentence, where you write, "The concert hall was alive with the melodic hum of instruments being tuned" you had me. I could hear the instruments being tuned, I could feel the nerves and excitement. It's really great. The story is aural from the start. Everything is about the sounds. When Amelia is preparing her violin, you mention how, " ...the sweet fragrance of rosin wafted through the room" and that is another great use of our senses to pull us inside the story. The rivalry between Amelia and Henry is fun to watch. I think it is more on Amelia's side than Henry's, but, maybe, that's because he is the guest soloist. He has a certain swagger in his "roguish wink" at Amelia. From Amelia's eyes, we see how he is confident and cocksure, how he "cavorts" across the stage. But when he starts to play, all of this changes. He is tender, and his bow strokes resonate with, "passion and vulnerability." When Henry finishes his solo, he persuades Amelia to go back onstage with him and play together. He explains that not everything has to be a competition, and that "music is a conversation." Wow. I love that.Suggestions: Just a tiny point. "He settled into his seat and let the rich timbre of his cello enveloped the room." It should be envelop. Parting comments: I loved this story. Your descriptions of, not only the concert hall but, of the music itself is thrilling. And the blossoming friendship of Amelia and Henry is an added bonus. Choconut
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You responded to this review 05/09/2024 @ 7:52am EDT