Hi Mary,


This is a wonderful story. The tone is formal. It suits the story and plot very well. The reader is wondering who is following the young girl. They will read to the last word to find out. The story is about a young girl who is nervous when she thinks she is being followed late at night. The conflict is well defined. There is no doubt about what is going on here. The characterization is fully developed and believable. The story concentrates on the young girl, and she comes across as a real person. There is no dialogue but it is not needed here. The description is detailed and vivid. It puts the reader all the way into the story. I did come across a couple of structural issues that need your attention:


1)didnt what to do-Should read "didn't know what to do"

2)You should break the story up into individual sentences. It is a little confusing.

The story is consistent in terms of point of view and tense. You have accomplished a great deal in just a few words. Great job.