Hello, NickofTime, aka counterfeit82!


INITIAL IMPRESSION / OVERVIEW:

I enjoyed reading your "From Day to Night" poem today and especially appreciated the surprise faith element at the end.

Your writing kept me riveted and I read straight through to the end.



MORE DETAILED FEEDBACK:

Happy Writing.Com Anniversary month! I hope you enjoy this review as a celebration of your time here and find the review uplifting and encouraging.

I found your "From Day to Night" poem in the "Anniversary Reviews" forum today, reviewed by someone else that I respect. I love poetry and am conscious about being a good steward of my time, so your title drew me in. I liked the description you wrote, so I clicked and read your poem and enjoyed it greatly, so I decided to give you a review as a little anniversary gift. Happiest anniversary wishes to you and best wishes on your writing future too!

I loved your method of separating the day. I think / suspect that most people think in terms of morning, afternoon, and night, so yours was different and unexpected to me, in a good way.

Your relating your four time periods of the day to the four seasons was lovely too.

My favorite stanza was the last because it glorified the Lord, and that's a great thing to me. Everything, including our time and breath, is from the Lord. It was nice to see you recognize that in your poetry about time.

I thought your theme of rising and falling worked well in this poem. I hope and pray that we will rise for the Lord and fall safely into His grace and love.

I didn't notice any spelling in your "From Day to Night" poem.

I thought the philosophy and spiritual genres you selected for this poem were perfect matches for it.


IDEAS TO MAKE YOUR PIECE STRONGER:

In the spirit of helpfulness, and because of the requirements of a new reviewing challenge I joined recently, I have one little suggestion to make your piece stronger. If you're interested in some constructive criticism, read on. But if you aren't, no worries. Just know that I enjoyed your piece and move on to the next section.

Still reading? You're brave! Yay for you!

I'd personally recommend not doing all caps for the first stanza. I know it's just one word per line, and you're emphasizing the way you view time, which is great... it's just that all caps is considered screaming online so it's a bit strong feeling. I think this would work just as well and be nicer for more people in normal capitalization.

It's always nice for me as a reader to have the form and line count listed below the poem, perhaps in a "notes" section. I don't know how long it took me to start doing that, but once I did, readers responded favorably. So I'd recommend adding that information beneath your poem.

As with any review, please take what serves you and release or ignore what doesn't.


CONCLUSION:

I enjoyed reading your "From Day to Night" poem, and empathized with your sentiments that you expressed in it.

Thank you for sharing your time, creativity, heart, faith, experiences, and writing with the Writing.Com community!

Once again, happy anniversary month! I hope the year ahead is filled with blessings and joy for you!

May love, joy and peace be yours in abundance during your anniversary month, and always!

PWheeler











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