Hello, Ernest Dempsey, aka Earnest!


INITIAL IMPRESSION / OVERVIEW:

I enjoyed reading your "Peace" poem every time I read it, including today.

Your writing kept me riveted and I read straight through to the end.



MORE DETAILED FEEDBACK:

Happy Writing.Com Anniversary month! I read this "Peace" poem of yours sometime in the past and enjoyed it, but didn't have time to review it right then, so I flagged it for an anniversary review (meaning I saved the link to it in a special "February" file. ). I hope you enjoy this review as a celebration of your time here and find the review uplifting and encouraging.

I originally found your poem in the "Anniversary Reviews" forum today, reviewed by someone else that I respect. I love the idea of peace, so your title drew me in and I clicked and read your poem and enjoyed it greatly, so I decided to give you a review as a little anniversary gift. Happiest anniversary wishes to you and best wishes on your writing future too!

Your poem's last two lines spoke of peace nicely. This felt more like a romantic poem than a peaceful poem to me, though I enjoyed it just as well, I think, as if it had been all about peace.

My favorite line was "And leave the world behind" in Thanks line. Lovely!

I liked how you said a lot with only seven lines and so few words.


IDEAS TO MAKE YOUR PIECE STRONGER:

In the spirit of helpfulness, and because of the requirements of a new reviewing challenge I joined recently, I have three little suggestions to make your piece stronger. If you're interested in some constructive criticism, read on. But if you aren't, no worries. Just know that I enjoyed your piece and move on to the next section.

Still reading? You're brave! Yay for you!

This sentence didn't really make sense to me:
"All go together kind"
Maybe you meant "kindly" instead of kind? I know that would ruin your three-line rhyme, but it would make more sense that way, I think. Unless you meant something else.

It wasn't clear to me whether this was a rhyming poem or a free verse poem. Three lines in a row, in the middle, rhymed, but the rest didn't. In cases like this, I think it's important to state the form used beneath the poem, to alleviate future readers' confusion. I liked the rhyming parts though (mind / kind / behind).

It's always nice for me as a reader to have the line count listed below the poem, perhaps in a "notes" section. I don't know how long it took me to start doing that, but once I did, readers responded favorably. So I'd recommend adding that information beneath your poem.

As with any review, please take what serves you and release or ignore what doesn't.


CONCLUSION:

I enjoyed reading your "Peace" poem, and empathized with your sentiments that you expressed in it.

Thank you for sharing your time, creativity, heart, experiences, and writing with the Writing.Com community!

Once again, happy anniversary month! I hope the year ahead is filled with blessings and joy for you!

May love, joy and peace be yours in abundance during your anniversary month, and always!

PWheeler











Positive Hearts
A Review from: "Positive Hearts Reviews Group" 




The B.E.A.R. Fund


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .