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 Review #4805935 |
 | Drinking to Remember  [13+] This old-fashioned bar serves up memories on ice. What'll you have?  |
| (4.5)  HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"   First Impressions: I picked this story because the title and description sounded intriguing, and I loved the idea for this tale. A bar where you can order drinks that bring back memories from the past - what’s not to love? It sounds perfect to be able to tap into things that have long been forgotten. But there are caveats, of course. You can’t order a specific memory or a specific day, as the barkeeper explained. Any time within a decade is doable, but that’s a rather long time. In the end, he managed to narrow it down, but only after he brought back a rather unpleasant memory from the narrator’s forties. The narrator took stock of his life with that one drink and one memory. His relationship with his family wasn’t what he had hoped he would be, and looking back, he was able to pinpoint what had gone wrong, what he had done wrong. I got the feeling by the end that he wasn’t looking for happy memories but that he was trying to punish himself by reliving the bad ones.  Suggestions: The first thing I noticed was the lack of speech marks. Not sure if that was an oversight or a style choice, I checked a couple of your other stories where you used them correctly, so I figured it was the latter. It makes the story a little difficult to read, but the whole style reminded me a bit of Cormac McCarthy (the lack of quotation marks and the brevity, minus the violence) and I assume that was done on purpose. However, I missed the speech marks! Perhaps oldest hipster I'd ever seen. There seemed to be a word missing, “Perhaps the oldest…” Too be fair That should have said “To be fair”. Mind if I sit with you?, I asked. You don’t need the comma after the question mark. How about late twenties? I asked? The question mark after “asked” should be a period.  Final Thoughts: I think this whole memory trip deal needs a bit of work. Not being able to pick specific memories is one thing, but ending up with a bunch of bad ones is like ordering an expensive cocktail and finding you don’t like it. There should be an ingredient that makes sure the memories are good ones because otherwise, they will soon go out of business. Unless, like it seemed to me here, the customer is looking for those bad ones, for whatever reason. I still like the idea and I’m pretty sure I would soon get addicted to those drinks and memories. Even when we feel we have a good memory in general, there are so many events we forget and it would be nice to bring those things to mind again. Even though I found the style a little difficult to read, I thought this was a good story.   A Review from: "Invalid Item" This review is affiliated with The B.E.A.R. Fund , a community project that let's you earn exclusive merit badges just by reviewing! My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 03/22/2025 @ 1:58pm EDT