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 Review #4806498 |
 | Please don't cry  [E] I just want to see him smile again. It's been ages since I've seen him happy.  |
| (5.0)  HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"  Hello, Elizabeth, aka littlebird89! INITIAL IMPRESSION / OVERVIEW:  I enjoyed reading your "Please Don't Cry" short story today. Your writing kept me riveted and I read straight through to the end.MORE DETAILED FEEDBACK:  Happy Writing.Com Anniversary month! I hope you enjoy this review as a celebration of your time here and find the review uplifting and encouraging. I found your story in the "Anniversary Reviews" forum today, reviewed by someone else that I respect. First your title drew me in, and then your description made me wonder why he'd be so sad, and then I clicked and read your poem. I enjoyed it greatly, so I decided to give you a review as a little anniversary gift. Happiest anniversary wishes to you and best wishes on your writing future too! Your story was filled with emotion and details that helped me picture the scene. You did such a great job that you literally brought tears to my eyes by the end of your "Please Don't Cry" story. I thought the blend of description and dialogue worked well and you used just the right amount of each in this "Please Don't Cry" story. My favorite part was the ending, because of its emotional impact. I wondered if you had written this for a particular contest or challenge here? I thought the stargazer lily image in the thumbnail picture area was a good match for this short story. I didn't notice any spelling or grammatical mistakes (or mistakes of any kind) in your "Please Don't Cry" story. I thought the relationship, death, and tribute genres you selected for this story were appropriate matches for it.IDEAS TO MAKE YOUR PIECE STRONGER: In the spirit of helpfulness, and because of the requirements of a new reviewing challenge I joined recently, I have some little suggestions to make your piece stronger. If you're interested in some constructive criticism, read on. But if you aren't, no worries. Just know that I enjoyed your piece and move on to the next section. Still reading? You're brave! Yay for you!   I'd recommend changing the main title to title case. Right now it's in sentence case. If you made that change, it would look like this: "Please Don't Cry." (Side note: I used title case throughout my review because I enter my reviews in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" here and wanted to be grammatically correct, not as a criticism; it's your story, so if you prefer it the way it is, by all means please keep it that way; I'm just making a suggestion.) It's always nice for me as a reader to have the word count listed below the story, perhaps in a "notes" section. I don't know how long it took me to start doing that, but once I did, readers responded favorably. So I'd recommend adding that information beneath your story.As with any review, please take what serves you and release or ignore what doesn't. CONCLUSION:  I enjoyed reading your "Please Don't Cry" short story, and thought you did a great job writing it. Thank you for sharing your time, creativity, heart, experiences, and writing with the Writing.Com community! Once again, happy anniversary month! I hope the year ahead is filled with blessings and joy for you!May love, joy and peace be yours in abundance during your anniversary month, and always! PWheeler   A SuperPower Reviewers Choice review!  Positive Hearts  A Review from: "Invalid Item"  The B.E.A.R. Fund   My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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