\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED ITEMS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4809285
Review #4809285
Viewing a review of:
 An Order of Healers; Prolog to Breath... Open in new Window. [13+]
A shy young man's gift attracts the attention of a passing harbinger of apocalypse.
by Joto-Kai Author Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Greetings, Joto-Kai I found your item while cruising through random reviewing.

Review sig

*Skull* Reader beware. Walk into this prologue and hope you'll be able to get out.


*Vine1*
Overall impression
You pulled me in with the first sentence. It created a sense of quiet unsettling. The words seemed to be positive, but along the way Gregor passes some people who run and hide from him when they see the flower. I think the woman by the side of the road is feared for selling the flowers, but Gregor found his own. I breathed a bit later.

Then I was so frustrated when Gregor couldn't speak his mind. Ismona was clearly waiting for him to declare his love. Men can be so clueless. Or frightened by beauty.

From there, the plot shifts from uneasiness to foreboding. The words chosen created that bleak atmosphere. Honestly, I was scared.

Obviously, the implications of the prolouge are the teasers. I have a few questions, which I'm sure, will be answered in chapters to come. You're off to a splendorous start. If there are more chapters, maybe include a link to the next chapter.

*Vine1*
Observations/oops
The deed is done; I don't need your advice."
Missing quotation marks at the beginning of this sentence.

And For you, let it be a delight."
(for) should not be capitalized.

*Heart*
Favorite sentence, and the one following. So graphic, so disturbing.
The words slithered in his memory, into the depths of his past.

*Vine2*
Lasting impression
Master Soren alone will live. What is his end game?

A chilling conclusion. Expertly written.

Respectfully reviewed by
Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.

This review is affiliated with The B.E.A.R. Fund Open in new Window., a community project that let's you earn exclusive merit badges just by reviewing!

*SuitHeart* A Review from: "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.*SuitHeart*





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/02/2025 @ 9:51pm EDT
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4809285