\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4810460
Review #4810460
Viewing a review of:
 War Atomized Open in new Window. [E]
Trying to convey a fast and chaotic sense of war. All criticism is welcomed.
by Day_y1D Author Icon
Review of War Atomized  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*Firework*    Happy Writing.com Account Anniversary from "Anniversary ReviewsOpen in new Window.    *Firework*


Hi Day_y1D

Congratulations on your account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


Positives

I thought you did a great job with the imagery in this piece. In just a few short lines, you communicated a lot of visuals and created a compelling narrative, which is not easy to do. Nice job!


Suggestions

I was a little confused by the "my life lights sky pistons by control" line. For me, I had a difficult time conceptualizing that as an image.


Overall

Overall, I enjoyed reading your poem. Well done!


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another Writing.com author!

Respectfully,

Jeff Author IconMail Icon
"Rating & Reviewing PhilosophyOpen in new Window.

Anniversary Reviews email siggie



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
   *NoteR* You have not yet responded to this review. Ignore
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4810460