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Review #4811966
Viewing a review of:
 Wandering feet, wandering mind Open in new Window. [E]
A walk with a few surprises
by S-J Author Icon
Review by FrosTIGGY ☃️ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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*PenB* First Impressions:

There was a calm rhythm to your story, like the steps you walked, that really invited the reader in, not only to see what you saw, but to feel the texture of the world the way you did. It wasn’t rushed or forced; it simply was. Like the trail you walked, it unfolded naturally, letting the reader discover little things along the way. Your curiosity was infectious. The way you paused to notice the smallest details - the patterns in a pebble, the web of a spider, the tracks of all manner of creatures - made the world feel rich and layered. You reminded the readers that there’s so much to see if we slow down and look. That sense of wonder, that questioning of why curiosity is seen as childish, gave the piece depth.

There was also a gentle suspense building up throughout - the little mysteries (that forgotten yard, the strange pull of the eagle's cry), the constant awareness of being watched, or maybe not alone. You kept things grounded, but there was always that flicker of “what if?” beneath the surface. You walked in safety, but you knew you were a guest in a world where you were not the main character. And the horse encounter? That was beautiful. The vulnerability of being caught off guard, the awe, the internal debate - do you move, do you speak, do you run? - all of it felt so real. You didn’t dramatize it, which made it even more powerful. You showed reverence for the moment, and in doing so, you let us feel it too.


*PenG* Suggestions:

The story was beautifully written, and I only have two tiny suggestions:

Home alone and not sure about what I should do. Decided that I should go enjoy the sunshine and fresh air and see what creatures I may discover.
To avoid fragmented sentences, I think this would work better if you combined them with a comma: Home alone and not sure about what I should do, I decided that I should go enjoy the sunshine and fresh air and see what creatures I may discover.

The second suggestion is regarding the word just. After a while, and especially in the last paragraph, it seemed like you were using the word a lot and it became a bit distracting. In most cases, you could simply omit it, or replace it with another word.


*PenP* Final Thoughts:

I have to admit that Nature is not my favourite genre – I’m an indoor cat, so to speak, and nature walks have never much interested me. It only took you three paragraphs to change my mind with your evocative descriptions. If I expected this to be boring in any way, I was very wrong. This was a powerful story, and I’m glad I stumbled across it.




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