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 Review #4813879 |
 | Just Me and the Sea  [E] The ocean always draws me in  |
| (5.0)  HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"  Hello, Rising Tide! INITIAL IMPRESSION / OVERVIEW:  I enjoyed reading your "Just Me and the Sea" poem today. Your writing kept me riveted and I read straight through to the end.MORE DETAILED FEEDBACK:  Happy Writing.Com Anniversary day and month! I hope you enjoy this review as a celebration of your time here and find the review uplifting and encouraging. It is meant to be honest and respectful, in accordance with WDC guidelines. I found your poem in the "Anniversary Reviews" forum today, reviewed by someone else that I respect. I love the ocean, so your title drew me in and I clicked and read your poem and enjoyed it greatly, so I decided to give you a review as a little anniversary gift. Happiest anniversary wishes to you and best wishes on your writing future too! I loved your poem's message and spirit. It was full of lovely images and experiences regarding your beloved sea. "The ocean always draws me in" too and that made for a lovely description for your poem. My favorite line was the second one. I think because I really liked the image of "dancing diamonds." I wondered if this "Just Me and the Sea" poem was written for a particular contest or challenge here? I thought the nature, personal, and experience genres you selected for this poem were perfectly appropriate matches for it. I happened to have visited the sea today, so your poem felt like the perfect way to end my day. A little bit of serendipity!IDEAS TO MAKE YOUR PIECE STRONGER: In the spirit of helpfulness, and because of the requirements of a new reviewing challenge I joined recently, I have one little suggestion to make your piece stronger. If you're interested in some constructive criticism, read on. But if you aren't, no worries. Just know that I enjoyed your piece and move on to the next section. Still reading? You're brave! Yay for you!   I think you have a typo or grammatical error in the line I reference in this section. I think "breath" should be "breathe." Breath is the noun, breathe is the verb.Right now the line looks like this: "I breath deeply of the air so misty and fresh" If you made my suggested change, it'd look like this (done so you can see and for easy copy and pasting, should you decide to make the change): "I breathe deeply of the air so misty and fresh" It's always nice for me as a reader to have the poetry form and line count listed below the poem, perhaps in a "notes" section. I don't know how long it took me to start doing that, but once I did, readers responded favorably. So I'd recommend adding that information beneath your poem. It might help you get more future readers if you added a thumbnail picture to your story, if your membership level allows that. Pictures are attention getting and could help your story stand out in a list of search results. I think a picture of the sea, a beach, or anything related would be nice.As with any review, please take what serves you and release or ignore what doesn't. CONCLUSION:  I enjoyed reading your "Just Me and the Sea" poem, and empathized with your sentiments that you expressed in it. Thank you for sharing your time, creativity, heart, experiences, and writing with the Writing.Com community! Once again, happy anniversary day and month! I hope the year ahead is filled with blessings and joy for you!May love, joy and peace be yours in abundance, during your anniversary month, and always! PWheeler   A SuperPower Reviewers Choice review!  The B.E.A.R. Fund   My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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