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Review #4814286
Viewing a review of:
 Did You Hear? Open in new Window. [13+]
Sometimes it's best to keep some things to yourself.
by JACE Author Icon
Review of Did You Hear?  Open in new Window.
Review by Tiggy Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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*PenB* First Impressions:

A very unique point of view, which was a nice surprise and very charming. It didn’t mean that the story lacked emotional depth though, on the contrary. I had expected the coffee mug to perhaps not understand what was going on, but I was quite wrong. In places, the narrator showed amazing insight into human nature and analysed their behaviours perfectly, and the observation how the two mugs added a bit of magic to the friends’ coffee morning was nicely done. I figured it meant that they were particularly pretty, but the real meaning of the statement became clear in the next paragraph.


*PenG* Suggestions:

The story was very polished and I only noticed one tiny error:

Kat never spoke about in our presence.
I think there might be a word missing, “spoke about it in our presence”.

I would also suggest putting the contest prompt in addition to the link for the contest at the top or bottom of the entry (or, as this was Short Shots, as the thumbnail). The problem with the Official Contest is that the prompts disappear in the next round and the readers don’t know what inspired the story. (I checked the site news because I’m nosy like that and found one of the other entries had posted it, and you used the prompt very well.)


*PenP* Final Thoughts:

I liked that you didn’t over explain things and let the readers do some of the work to figure out what was going on. The description of the magic was subtle, and you didn’t spell out what happened between the two women. The last line was just ambiguous enough to make the readers wonder how the cups would fare with their new owners. A cleverly constructed story, a little sad in places but full of heart. I enjoyed the read.




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