%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4814616 |
 | Silicon ticket  [E] What happens when a robot goes to traffic court?  |
| (3.5)  HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"   First Impressions: That was both fun and thought provoking. It was an interesting blend of sci-fi and legal satire - not a combination I’ve come across before, but it worked. The core idea, that AI could misinterpret human idioms in a literal and legally consequential way, seemed quite realistic (considering that Alexa has difficulties following basic commands). This was set in the near future where technology had advanced, but not so much that readers wouldn’t recognise this world, so it seemed entirely plausible that AI might be doing jobs like deliveries but hadn’t quite learned yet to understand the meaning of human phrases and expressions.  Suggestions: The story would benefit from an edit. I noticed a number of grammatical errors - I’m not going to point out all of them, but these are some areas you might want to look at:  Comma splices / Run-on sentencesThese occur when you combine two independent clauses with commas, for example here: Judge Aaron Goldberg was trying to get each case through as quickly as possible, it was Friday and he wanted to finish work and get home before sunset in time for the Sabbath. I would suggest replacing the comma with a period, turning the two clauses into two sentences. Aaron was something of a prodigy, he graduated from law school when he was twenty-three, his long time dream had been to be a judge trying a landmark case Here, I would probably replace the first comma with a semicolon and add an “and” after the second. Punctuation and capitalisation in dialogue Watch out for commas at the end of dialogue and when the sentence actually ends. For example here: “He doesn’t.” said a bald man As the sentence continues with the dialogue tag, the period should be a comma. said Miss Lang. “you didn’t commit The first sentence ends after the dialogue tag with a period, so the next part of the dialogue should begin with a capital letter as it’s a new sentence. Typos“How does the defendant plea?” You used that line twice so I wasn’t sure if you used the wrong word or if it was just a typo. “Plea” is the noun. Here, you need the verb, “plead”. “Alright, Miss Lang you may the people’s case.” There seemed to be a word missing. “You may make the people’s case”, maybe?  Final Thoughts: Ben was a memorable character with a unique voice and a delightful logical mind. Aaron, too, was well rounded, and the readers understood his motivations and aspirations throughout the story. It was interesting that, although he didn’t get that landmark case he had been hoping for, it still might make the news, and on a slow day, that was good enough for him. I thought the idea was very original, and I think it’s worth spending a little time on the technical issues.
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