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 Review #4820041 |
 | A Day I Won’t Forget in Lisbon  [E] An unforgettable day filled with Lisbon’s charm, culture, and stunning views.  |
| (3.5)| Hello, dropping by with a review. These thoughts are all my own and meant to help; take what you find useful and ignore anything you don't! What I liked: I liked this short piece of travel writing - it gave me a nice sense of what your day was like, and as someone who obsessively plans in a LOT of detail before I go anywhere, I enjoyed reading about someone experiencing a city in a much freer way. You effectively brought the reader along with you as you transitioned between casual sightseeing, to a little bit of anxiety as your plans went wrong, and how that led to an interesting experience - your "day that felt completely real." Things I "bumped" on: You skimmed over the more conventional morning you had of sight-seeing, with no descriptions at all of the monastery, monument or the actual taste of the pastry which you got at the famous bakery. I know this wasn't the main focus of the piece, but it would add in a bit more colour and interest to this section to have a few lines of description. Also, were you sponsored or commissioned by Voye Global to write this piece? I'm not sure what WDC's rules are on including this kind of thing in your portfolio, but it might be worth double-checking. If you want to keep this in, it would be a courtesy to your readers to mention - perhaps in an endnote or similar - if you were paid by them at all. Technical: You could tighten up a few things for consistency e.g. you spell Belém with the accent in one place but not the other. It might also be helpful to the reader to put non-English words that aren't place names in italics - for example, pastel de nata, pastel de bacalhau, miradouro - although this one might depend on the editorial guidelines of anywhere you might choose to submit this too. Overall, this was a nice, atmospheric piece which was also well-structured with a clear beginning, middle and end, taking the reader with you on your day in Lisbon. By adding some more description and a few bits of technical tightening up, this could be a top-flight piece of travel writing. Keep writing! Affiliated with:
 My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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