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 Review #4820502 |
 | ENERGY: chilling or boiling  [E] How the environment effects me & what happens. I hope this helps people with challenges.  |
| (4.5)  HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"  Hello, Viv, aka VPBanjo! INITIAL IMPRESSION / OVERVIEW:  I enjoyed reading your "ENERGY: chilling or boiling" personal essay today, though I most certainly wished you didn't have to deal with such extreme health challenges. As always, I am praying for healing for you. Your writing kept me riveted and I read straight through to the end every time. Congratulations to you on completing eight whole years of the Contest Challenge! "The Contest Challenge" MORE DETAILED FEEDBACK:  Happy Writing.Com Anniversary month! I hope you enjoy this review as a celebration of your time here and find the review uplifting and encouraging. It is meant to be honest and respectful, and in accordance with WDC guidelines. Wow, that degree of feeling cold sounds like torture! My heart and prayers go out to you on that. I wonder if the wheelchair makes it worse? I mean, not necessarily the chair itself, but all that sitting. I imagine it restricts circulation. If you haven't discussed this with your doctor, I hope you will before next winter arrives. Also, if your limbs are blue, I'm not any kind of medical professional, but I suspect that you need emergency medical attention. Definitely seek care if that happens again! The arthritis (I wondered if it was rheumatoid arthritis or osteoarthritis or both?) sounds very painful and challenging. The fibromyalgia too. I have a dear friend who deals with that and even though she generally has high pain tolerance, it brings tears to her eyes at times. My heart and prayers go out to you on this and all of your health challenges. As miserable as the cold is for you, it sounds like the heat is even worse. It's amazing that you can tolerate living down south. Maybe being in the mountains helps. I hope so. Thank the Lord for heat in the winter and air cooling devices in the summer! You really are dealing with so many different and serious health challenges. It's a miracle you're alive, I think, and that you have managed to keep your sense of humor, which shines throughout this whole piece. You're amazing, to be dealing with all this and still stay true to the Lord and see the humor in life!  As one of just nine people on this site to have completed eight years of Jody's Contest Challenge, you are part of an elite group of achievers! I hope you own that and that it helps you feel like you can accomplish anything. Wow, there's more than you shared here too. I can't hardly imagine. You are a real trooper! I sure wish you didn't have to deal with all this! I am still so happy that you got the best hearing aids. What a great blessing. I was glad you reminded me of this in this"ENERGY: chilling or boiling" personal essay. I thought the educational, environment, and experience genres you selected for "ENERGY: chilling or boiling" personal essay were appropriate matches for it, although I think the health genre might be a good replacement for environment as health is the main topic, as it seems to me personally. My very favorite part of your "ENERGY: chilling or boiling" personal essay was your sense of humor despite all of these serious challenges. IDEAS TO MAKE YOUR PIECE STRONGER: In the spirit of helpfulness, and because of the requirements of a new reviewing challenge I joined recently, I have some little suggestions to make your piece stronger. If you're interested in some constructive criticism, read on. But if you aren't, no worries. Just know that I enjoyed your piece and move on to the next section. Still reading? You're brave! Yay for you!   For this sentence, I have two suggestions. I'd add that you feel like it, because I doubt you actually have icebergs on your body (though if you do, then I wouldn't add it). And I think you meant icebergs (spelling) vs. ice burgs, so I'd correct that. Right now the sentence looks like this:"When it is too cold, I have ice burgs from my butt to the tip of my toes." If you made these changes, it would look like this (done so you can see and for easy copy and pasting, should you decide to make the change): "When it is too cold, I feel like I have icebergs from my butt to the tip of my toes." I think this sentence has a typo and that "oraly" should be "orally." Here's what the first part of it looks like now: "My medication helps which I take oraly ..."If you made this change, it would look like this (done so you can see and for easy copy and pasting, should you decide to make the change): "My medication helps which I take orally ..." In the arthritis section, sometimes you capitalize Arthur, and sometimes you don't. Either way is fine, I think, because it's your nickname for arthritis (though I personally lean towards capitalizing it, because it's also a human name), but I think you do want to be consistent about choosing one way throughout the article. So, if for example, you went with capitalizing it, all you'd need to do is capitalize all the ones that are currently in lower case. It might help you get more future readers if you added a thumbnail picture to your story, if your membership level allows that. Pictures are attention getting and could help your story stand out in a list of search results. As with any review, please take what serves you and release or ignore what doesn't. CONCLUSION:  I enjoyed reading your "ENERGY: chilling or boiling" personal essay, and empathized with your sentiments that you expressed in it. Thank you for sharing your time, creativity, heart, experiences, and writing with the Writing.Com community! Once again, happy anniversary month! I hope the year ahead is filled with blessings and joy for you!May love, joy and peace be yours in abundance, and may the Lord bless you and all that you do, during your anniversary month, and always! PWheeler   A SuperPower Reviewers Choice review!   A Review to Congratulate You on Completing 8 Years of the Contest Challenge!: "The Contest Challenge"   My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 06/12/2025 @ 10:26am EDT