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Review #4820842
Viewing a review of:
It Didn't Snow Open in new Window. [13+]
Entry in Shadows and Light
by ♥OctOGre tHiNg♥ Author Icon
Review of It Didn't Snow  Open in new Window.
Review by Joy's busy ... Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
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Hello, ♥OctOGre tHiNg♥,

Here is a review for your "It Didn't Snow" Open in new Window..

*Note1* You always have the last say on your work, and you are under no obligation to follow my suggestions.

Comments and Observations:

A lovely and introspective poem! I so like the feeling of the endurance and your gentle grief.

In fact, your poem captures grief in a restrained and touching way. Thr motif of snow, or rather, the lack of it, makes the imagery symbolic and literal, as in “You were imprisoned by illness / I was confined by anxiety” These words are especially moving in their parallelism to the atmosphere of your poem.

The shifts from cold seasons to pandemics, (Don't we all know it!) and from animals to planting give the poem a special rhythm with thought cycles.

Just a tiny suggestion, if you wish:
"It never snowed three years on”
How would it sound to you if it were to be:
“Three years passed, and still no snow”
or
“For three years, snow refused to fall
or something like it, but this is up to you. *Smile*

Overall, your poem is lyrical and beautiful, and I enjoyed reading it very much. *Smile*


Suggestions on the text as to grammar, usage, and punctuation

I saw no problems in this area.

Best wishes with your work.

Joy sig for Angels-by Kiya

*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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