Hello, Colby Parson,

Welcome to Writing.com.

Here is a review for your "Invalid Item" .

Comments and Observations:

My first reaction after reading your poem was, "What an emotionally intelligent, sharp, yet elegant poem!" This is because, here, you have captured the realization and emotional elevation of a person after being subjected to falsehood.

You also added an emotional arc to your lines, by going from being an observer to someone who saw into the other person and events and gained clarity at the end. Better yet, the poem didn't sound bitter to me.

Then, phrases like “painted lies,” and “perfumed want” are both sensory and metaphorical. Plus, they paint a vivid picture of deception and superficial behavior on the other person. The metaphors of masks, beauty as currency, and theater work well, here, also.

Short lines, very few punctuation marks, and the striking ending all add to the success of this poem. Although the last line, "Goodbye!" may throw off other reviewers for being abrupt, I liked it very much because, to me, it showed determination.

I don't know how or if you can improve this poem, but I liked it a lot just as the way it is.

Best wishes with your poetry and all other writing.



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .