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Review #4821523
Viewing a review of:
 
Water Open in new Window. [13+]
The most important substance in the world. If only I could drink.
by Angelica Weatherby- Bday 8/10 Author Icon
Review of Water  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Greetings, Angelica!

I’m here for I Write 2025.

A gripping story, this. I wasn’t sure if it was going to be a fantasy theme, where the unicorns were real, or if it was all just a mirage… oh no *FacePalm* I’ve just reminded myself of a song…
video ▼

Enjoy!

Anyway… yeah, this story had me on the edge of my seat. I didn’t want the soldier to die out there. “Dancing among” should rather be “dancing in,” towards the beginning. Also, it should be clear from the opening that he’s driving the Jeep, otherwise we assume he’s walking. Also, the picture of the oasis at the end should be more clear. I didn’t immediately connect the almost crashing into the tree with “ooh, water!” Even though looking back it should be obvious. Oh, I know, you can say “no trees here,” at the beginning. But it’s a desert, duh *Pthb* Don’t mind me, I’m just “being helpful” *Laugh*

Great little flash fiction here, it captures a tense, vivid and surrealistic moment.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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