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 Review #4823694 |
| (4.5)  First Impressions: I chose to read this story while sitting on my own, late at night. What was I thinking?! It’s not like you didn’t warn me - it is in your ‘horror’ folder and you chose all the right genres, so this is squarely on me. This was a very creepy tale. It did have a bit of a Blair Witch feel to it, and one of the characters used the similarities to point out that this was real, not some hoax, which made it even more scary. You set the scene well, and the readers knew from the start that the four kids didn’t survive the night, so when the officers found the tape, they knew the monster would find and kill the girl. The descriptions of this otherworldly being weren’t particularly detailed, but there was enough for the readers to get a mental image. Most of the events happened without the readers being able to see them, although that didn’t help to put me at ease. Sometimes, hearing the sounds is even worse than seeing the images. I think this worked well in this story both to heighten the tension and to avoid repetition of the kids being killed in the same way.  Suggestions: Technically, the story was solid, and I didn’t notice any errors. I do have one suggestion though. You started with the detective arriving at the scene and being briefed by two uniformed officers. I found this part a little slow, despite the gruesome details they described. She first meets one and then the other officer, and they go through the introductions and the basic details twice. I think it would work better if you merely said that she introduced herself the second time, rather than her literally repeating what she already said in the dialogue. I would also omit the details of the case being repeated by the second officer - it’s not necessary for the detective or the readers. Alternatively, you could have her meet both of them together at the beginning which would avoid any potential repetition, or there could be just one officer to begin with. I wasn’t sure what the purpose was of her meeting two of them separately, so I would go with the second option.  Final Thoughts: I liked the ending. The implication is that they went through with it and burned the house to the ground, and the readers will assume that the supernatural monster won’t escape and that would be the end of the gruesome killings. There is, of course, no proof that this plan would work, but that’s not part of this story. Despite the fact that I’m a little scared now, I enjoyed the read!
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You responded to this review 07/05/2025 @ 12:51am EDT