Hello, Jaiam,

Here is a review for your "The Music of Silence!" .

Nice poem. I especially liked the contrast between winter and spring at the closing, even if "clash with spring” leaves the thought slightly unfinished. In any case, I think it gave the poem movement and change, against the earlier phrases with delicate beauty, phrases like “love of the unspoken word” and “frail as the winter snows.”

I believe line rhythm can be improved a tad, as some lines are more prose-like clashing against the lyrical ones. Case in point: “For so many, many, many things” vs. “love of the unspoken word.” Here, it could just be the repetitions of the "many" in the first example.

There is also the repetition of "soothing." Where repetitions are concerned, not that they are wrong, but we need to ask ourselves if they do fit in this context or in this specific section of the poem, only because they may have the tendency to take the poem to a different direction or introduce a different way of speech.

For example, just from the top of my head, "It is a soothing, soothing remedy," could be something like, 'A gentle remedy,// soft as falling snow,// fragile—yet certain to...."

Overall, I enjoyed the general feeling I got from reading your poem. IMHO, you have a knack for describing things of delicate beauty. Something to build on more, I suggest.

Suggestions on the text as to grammar, usage, and punctuation

I saw no problems in this area.

Best wishes with your work.



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .