“I wish your original research didn't involve dying in the desert, chasing some legend.”

... just the right snark ...

I think the three parts need to be delineated. I got lost (my bad but others may get lost too).

I liked the beginning but imho it became comic-book surreal. I cannot imagine the father acting like that. The chase reminded me of 1980s rom-com-action-adventure film, a la Raiders Romancing The Box which does not work for me but may work for others. I think the ending was weak.

I give you credit for weaving the prompts though... well done!

I'll give it a 4.2 as it meets all three prompts seamlessly.