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Jim, Your writing strongly reminds of ee cummings, as you eschew capitalization and punctuation. Interesting choice. I'll admit, it has a two-fold effect. It makes the reader pay attention to what he is reading in order to make sure he's getting each complete thought correct and not misunderstanding. On the other hand, having to interpret while simultaneously trying to absorb can be distracting, taking away from the immediate impact of a first reading. That having been said, this is a fantastic double-spine poem—two poems for the price of one! Yet both poems are about loneliness and desperation. For me, the beach is not a romantic place. It is a place of loneliness, of solitude, of sadness. This fits my impression of the beach and of sea-towns. The loneliness is never eased, just deepened by shallow love affairs that are merely "castles melting back into the wet sand." There were some fantastic, evocative lines in this: "silent dreams with only a bottle / for company" Been there, done that. Far too many times and for far too long. "loneliness lurked in the courtyards of half / erected towers" Ah, those almost-plans with almost-lovers. The ones that wash away in the high-tide of the morning light. What a wonderful demonstration of those fistulas in loneliness wherein we waste whatever emotion and dignity we have collected since last time. "...salt / tainted air" We are so used to thinking of sea air as refreshing, but it can be just as corrosive, as well. And when emotions are raw and encounters are fragile, that air can corrode any honesty simply by way of it's pseudo-romantic tang. This was an excellent poem, Jim. I am quite enjoying your portfolio. As we are wont to say here, I do indeed hope your collection grows as you choose to Write On! This review offered by Jeffrey —————————— ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Please note that my reviews are intended to be respectful and encouraging. If you feel I have been rude, cruel, or otherwise inappropriate, please report this review to a moderator.
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