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Review #4833884
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U.S. Route 23 Open in new Window. [E]
Adventures of two young lovers to celebrate a birthday
by Joey's Ready for the Fall Author Icon
Review of U.S. Route 23  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Greetings, Joey *Hug1**Smile**Hug2*

Well, I've been tasked with reviewing birthday items, and whaddya know, many of them are WdC themed.

This is a great premise, showcasing a journey down a historic US highway with love and a little adventure. My favorite part was when they were exploring Erwin, a town in the Tennessee mountains where I've visited as well. The Bojangles was especially amusing. The details are relatable for anyone who's traveled a bit in the US.

I might suggest tightening up the plotlines a little, because it's a little hard to follow exactly what goal they're running after, aside from the desire to be in warmer climes. Perhaps a rethinking of the plot altogether, since the highly specific underlined keywords are no longer needed. And also, how is Sherry "elusive?" That means "hard to find." And the sentence doesn't really fit together; Sherry herself isn't "an infectious spirit of adventure." Since the story is two years old, you can feel free to edit and rework as necessary.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *WingL**Heartv**WingR*



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