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Review #4833960
Viewing a review of:
 
The Things You See  Open in new Window. [18+]
Two old friends decide to get silly. 300 words Winner
by thereBdragons Author Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
PLOT -
Two friends, Lloyd and Jake talk about the state of the world they are living in. Jake tells Lloyd about what he witnessed while shopping.

SETTING -
I liked that you were able to add things into this flash fiction. I could picture the pair in their costumes, fully embracing the moments of being anonymous and doing something out of the ordinary.

CHARACTERS -
These two are a light-hearted pair. I like the humor in this story and how they seem to be kindred spirits.

GRAMMAR/SPELLING/DIALOGUE -
I didn't find any issues, and the dialogue was great, moving the story along.

THOUGHTS -
This was a solid flash fiction. You used the three chosen words well and put them in bold to make them easy to find. It was easy to picture Jake laughing and almost falling off the park bench when he realized the unbelievable sight he had seen was his friend, and that he didn't find anything crazy about it. I could imagine these two continuing to dress up for fun as a regular occurrence.

Lost in a haze of purple she stands alone

   *CheckG* You responded to this review 09/07/2025 @ 3:08pm EDT
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4833960