%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4834316 |
 |  | The Surprise  [13+] Birthday; waking up in an abandoned factory building, hands and feet tied with a duct tape  |
| (5.0)| Greetings, Josh! I'm on a quest for birthday themed items for "The WDC Angel Army" and found yours  Oh my, that was weird indeed. What thoughtlessly cruel lengths brothers at war can go to. I'm glad Rambo got his revenge for a cheap trick without being too brutal about it. He could've died in such a situation. Also, I just thought I'd mention: chloroform makes one  , literally. I was rather distressed when I found that detail while reading Agatha Christie at a young age  It's usually left out of the discussion, but since you write with earthy realism, you might as well throw it in. Something to startle those ants with, for sure!At first I thought it would end in fun, with the brother coming with a gift and a laugh, but it's darker than that. Not too dark for my preference, though. I was on the edge of my seat wondering how it would play out. The ending is satisfying, as we see Rambo having a comfortable laugh at the end of his struggle, and hopefully the brother getting a chance to regret his ridiculously mean prank. I can't think of any improvements to suggest; this was tense and well written, with good visuals and relatable details. I liked the use of the butterfly as a contrast with the grittiness of the setting, and as something to "lead the eye" through the opening scenario. Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing     My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 09/08/2025 @ 3:40pm EDT