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Review #4835978
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Borrowed Time Open in new Window. [13+]
If you wanna make God laugh, tell’em what you’re doing tomorrow.
by Dan Hiestand Author Icon
Review of Borrowed Time  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Greetings, sir *Smile*

This popped up on my sidebar yesterday evening, and when I saw it was yours I knew it was the one you mentioned. Of course I had to read it. Are you aware both of these stories have been featured in this week's newsletters? "For Authors Newsletter (September 17, 2025)" Open in new Window. and "Horror/Scary Newsletter (September 17, 2025)" Open in new Window. Well done! I knew you had the spark. We're kinda on a similar wavelength.

When it became apparent this was in the epistolary style, it reminded me of the way a published author I admire writes some of her shorts: Ghastly Grim And Ancient Raven Author Icon. This is a pretty advanced technique, one I haven't tried yet - most of my stories are quite linear and straightforward, and indeed if you see my tag you'll meet an experienced magazine editor who pretty much insists on a linear and straightforward timeline. (I have such a tendency to draw unnecessary connections between people...)

Actually, you may want to submit this or your other short to Max's Tales From the CrossTimbers - I have one submitted and under consideration already. It would be great to see our names together! These are the sort of grounded yet supernatural things he loves. I'll let him share his opinion on the epistolary/non-linear thing under the OP (or he might save it for next week's newsletter...) "Note: I got a reminder that my "For Authors" new..." This is the newsletter where he talks about his magazine and invites us to submit to it "For Authors Newsletter (August 27, 2025)" Open in new Window. Trust me, I wouldn't be jabbering like this if I didn't think well of you *Smile*

Now, for the story itself. This one was a fascinating and heartfelt read, as we see the narrator stepping back through time to save her life even though it means he'll never see her again because he would have been the cause of her death... I can't help wondering if she died anyway, though, in some way unrelated to the narrator, simply because it was her time. But the point is that he did what he had to do to prevent it from happening, and we appreciate his quick action.

I like the carefully interwoven details and the memorable, incidental symbolism of the UK flag. I'm not into sports, but one doesn't need any specific knowledge to understand this. You draw us in quickly with the setup hook - who wouldn't want to read about a time traveler? You paint the characters well, showing us the lady's endearing quirky traits and hinting at the loving relationship she has with her father, who would do anything to protect her, as the narrator would.

The pieces fall into place slowly and carefully, if somewhat predictably once the denouement begins. It isn't so much one's choice of theme - I'm sure others have had this idea, I know I wrote something similar in an outer space setting once - but the way one writes that makes it unique. The details, characters, treatment, tone, all create the author's distinctive voice and style, which one gets to know after a couple of stories. You seem like a trustworthy author; I've already mentioned ratings and your family friendly way of handling things.

I'm usually expected to make some suggestions for improvement... I can't think of anything. It reads seamlessly, is presented tidily, has all three genres (have you considered more "human interest" type genres, like Emotional or Drama or Relationship?) and although I can think of some possible philosophical loopholes in the plot, I don't want to bore anyone. (On closer examination, I was a bit surprised by the cat's "SoB" appellation at the end... You could abbreviate that and not lose anything. Just a trivial thought.)

Now I'm thinking of the lines from the Thomas Rhett song, Life Changes: "You never know what's gonna happen/ You make your plans and you hear God laughin'..."

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *WingL**Heartv**WingR*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 09/22/2025 @ 10:09am EDT
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