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Review #4836141
Viewing a review of:
 Socks and feet Open in new Window. [E]
What is more comfortable?
by Shadowcaster Author Icon
Review of Socks and feet  Open in new Window.
Review by Ja-Ja-JINX Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*CakeB* "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window. is celebrating A QUARTER CENTURY of Writing.Com!*CakeP*


Hi Shadowcaster Author Icon. Congrats on your 21st Writing.Com Anniversary. You're truly legal now. *Wink*

I'm Ja-Ja-JINX Author Icon, and I have the honor of reading and reviewing your offering "Socks and feet" Open in new Window.. My review comes to you by way of a special edition of "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window., which allows me to review any member who joined WDC in the first five years of existence. I appreciate all your support of the site during those early years.

I invite your attention to the comments below. Please bear in mind these notes are from one on the outside looking in; ultimately only you can decide what's right for your story.

*Note1* Overall Impression. I don't normally review poetry, because I tend to feel a mite inadequate to that task. But honestly, when I read your title and brief description, I couldn't just pass by.

I live now in Missouri where the summer weather begs for bare feet and said feet must be bound up for the snow and ice. I actually opted for a half size larger shoes on my last pair in anticipation of the coming winter, precisely because my feet feel to confined in my socks.

You've penned a three stanza, a-a-b-b rhyming pattern that flow pretty well. I always have to read poems out loud for that flow.

Your first line of the last stanza reads a bit odd to me. Are your words correct? Or did you mean to say 'to' alarm, instead of 'the' alarm?

And it seems to me that one line--second line, third stanza--it needs another syllable, such as 'say' between feet and they. (Similar to your second stanza.) Or, you need a comma for a slight pause after feet to forego that need for 'say.'

*Exclaim* Technical and Editorial Considerations. In this section I normally list those areas that relate specifically to the mechanics of your writing--punctuation, grammar, spelling, etc.

Strickly speaking, since the figure starts a sentence, 30 should be spelled out: Thirty.

*Star* My Rating.  4.5. 

*Heart* Thank you for sharing this offering. Please accept these comments as offered in friendship and support. They are but my humble opinion.


Reviewed by
JACE

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