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Review #4836233
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 US 16 Open in new Window. [E]
Even though the road was a familiar one, so was the anxiety
by Eliot Author Icon
Review of US 16  Open in new Window.
Review by SpookyBee Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
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I popped into your port for an Anniversary review and spied "Road Poems." Curious, I flipped the page and was lured to US 16.

I liked the idea of seeing the US on the road, just you, "pete and charlie," and the road. You see the environment and meet people along the way who touch your soul.

This story is about the journey on US 16, heading west. This is a free form poem with no apparent rythme scheme.

I especially liked: "and turned to feel your back grow warm one last time." It's a casual, easy gesture, but there's nothing like ending the day on a good/light/warm note.

My suggestion, and this is tough, because I like the poem as is, is maybe touch on some more emotion by tying in the 5 senses. Something like, "Just walkin' along, sun warm on the cheeks, easing the anxiety of the heart." At a minium, a little more sensory input will put the reader next to the journeyman on his walk.

Nice storytelling elements.

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#1188311 by iKïyå§amhain Author IconMail Icon


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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 09/25/2025 @ 8:20pm EDT
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