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 Review #4837189 |
 | The Kindergarten Teacher  [13+] The haunting past, brings back the meaning to her life.WC 661  |
| (4.0)  "Anniversary Reviews" is celebrating A QUARTER CENTURY of Writing.Com! Hi rjsimonson . Only a few short weeks until your 20th Writing.Com Anniversary. To honor your achievement, a special edition of "Anniversary Reviews" is allowing reviewers to review anyone who joined WDC within the first five years of the site's existence. Thank you for your support of the site in those early years.I'm Ja-Ja-JINX , and I have the honor of reading and reviewing your offering "The Kindergarten Teacher" . I invite your attention to the comments below. Please bear in mind these notes are from one on the outside looking in; ultimately only you can decide what's right for your story.  Overall Impression. This story was a good read. You set the story early by the teacher wondering why she was there. It was so subtle I almost missed it.May I suggest you read your story out loud the next time you edit it? You'll hear spots that should be addressed before you see them if you just skim your item. For example, consider Mrs. Mullen's state of mind when she returns to the classroom. She wouldn't be walking--she would be rushing to handle any emergency. I wondered about after Mrs. Mullens recites the verse, the story changing from one imp doing all the damage to plural imps. Shouldn't Billy ask, 'Is the monster gone? And so on. Your note at the bottom reveals the same issue I find in my own stories when I include a linked contest name. Sometimes over the years that contest is deleted leaving a broken link. If you remember the actual contest name, you might write it in. If not, leave it out.  Technical and Editorial Considerations. In this section I normally list those areas that relate specifically to the mechanics of your writing--punctuation, grammar, spelling, etc. You have a number of minor issues that should be addressed. Most are punctuation in nature.holding a girls finger ... Make girl's possessive. I hadn’t been called that since, before the accident when, I was a child. Remove both commas. The entire sentence works better without them. they had taught me, how ... Capitalize They, and remove the comma after me--it's not needed.  My Rating. 4.0.  Thank you for sharing this offering. Please accept these comments as offered in friendship and support. They are but my humble opinion.
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You responded to this review 10/02/2025 @ 8:10pm EDT