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Review #4837316
Viewing a review of:
 The Showoff Open in new Window. [E]
55 words, fiction: on eggs, 12 days of Christmas
by the last cicada Author Icon
Review of The Showoff  Open in new Window.
Review by Ja-Ja-JINX Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*CakeB* "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window. is celebrating A QUARTER CENTURY of Writing.Com!*CakeP*


Hi the last cicada Author Icon. Though your 24th Writing.Com Anniversary has long passed ... well, passed anyway, a special edition of "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window. encourages me to review an item from any member who joined within the first five years of the site's existence. Thank you for supporting WDC in those early growing years.

I'm Ja-Ja-JINX Author Icon, and I have the honor of reading and reviewing your offering "The Showoff" Open in new Window..

I invite your attention to the comments below. Please bear in mind these notes are from one on the outside looking in; ultimately only you can decide what's right for your story.

*Note1* Overall Impression. Fifty-five word stories are one of my favorite stories to write and review. I remember a contest specifically for those short tales, though it's no longer active. I suspect your broken link was created to identify that contest.

Congrats on your story being exactly 55 words. Yes, I counted. More impressive was the beginning, middle and ending using only 55 words. Anyone can just write something with 55 words. But it takes effort and imagination to pen a complete story with few words.

Your subject was unique, with an ending that was both unexpected and imaginative. I'm straining to come up with enough superlatives to fill a review. Suffice it to say, I thoroughly enjoyed the read.

The contest prompt was fulfilled perfectly. And your title was spot on, though it was not what I imagined before reading. That was good.

*Exclaim* Technical and Editorial Considerations. In this section I normally list those areas that relate specifically to the mechanics of your writing--punctuation, grammar, spelling, etc.

My only suggestion for improvement is to use a larger font. It's such a short piece that it tends to get lost on the page. And, perhaps delete the broken link.

*Star* My Rating.  5.0. 

*Heart* Thank you for sharing this offering. Please accept these comments as offered in friendship and support. They are but my humble opinion.


Reviewed by
JACE

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