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 Review #4837949 |
 My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines. THE STORYJane is frustrated with her naturally curly hair.  WHAT I LIKEDJane basically sums up the frustration we've all felt with our naturally curly hair one time or another. I could definitely sympathize with her - it took me a while to accept my own curls.  POV NARRATION/TENSEThis is told in the 3rd person limited through Jane's perspective. Past tense is used appropriately. DIALOGUEThe dialogue drives the narration. OPENING PARAGRAPHThe opening paragraph sets up the dilemma - Jane wants to cut her hair to get rid of her curls, but Sandy has a better way. CHARACTERSJane and Sandy are both relatable characters. Sandy is a great friend to Jane. FLOW & PACINGThe opening set up the problem, the middle set on a solution and end brought a smile to face. MECHANICSI did not notice and spelling/punctuation mistakes. My only suggestion here, and it's minor and a matter of style - maybe increase the font a little to make it easier on the eyes. PARTING THOUGHTSThe title fits the story. The ending left the reader on an upbeat note. This story should be dedicated to all those who are frustrated with their hair from time to time. Spot on Flash! An Angel Army Review
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