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Review #4838666
Viewing a review of:
 Weighed Down Open in new Window. [E]
I haven't written in a long time and this came to my head, I just want input
by Smartie Author Icon
Review of Weighed Down  Open in new Window.
Review by Jellyfish Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Dear Smartie Author Icon

I came across your poem as you sent me a review request.

I can pick up the strong emotions in your poem , and a sense of desperation - the writer is stuck, captured in a situation they feel they are unable to escape from. The words of your poem convey that the writer is afraid of someone or something - the end of the poem indicates the write is scared of themself - they do not know what their actions will be if things carry on in this way. A "prison guard" is mentioned however I feel this is a metaphor, that the person is not in prison but this refers to someone controlling in their life like a family member, teacher, or partner.

In terms of punctuation, I see you have chosen not to use any here. In a free form poem, I don't believe there is a specific requirement for punctuation, however I feel that some may be beneficial here, in order that the lines do not all run in to one another. However I also wonder whether the punctuation has been omitted on purpose, in order to enhance the sense or desperation and urgency.

I think your poem is accessible as many of us have felt this way for one reason or another - feeling stuck, helpless, on edge, under pressure. Therefore I feel many people could draw their own relation to these words. However, I am not sure the poem reveals any ideas or images which are particularly original or outstanding, but your content did resonate with me, and overall I liked the poem *Smile*

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