Hello, brinas,

Here is a review for your "The Way Back" , which showed up at the side of the page, as if asking me to read it.

Comments and Observations:

Absolutely beautiful with much emotional honesty, grace, and subtlety of tone. I don't even remember if I ever read such a strong piece on grief. Although the grief alluded to in your piece seems to be settled into ritual and memory.

The sorrow is so poignant. I loved how you circled around such grief by “taking deep breaths, walking, and humming the song you loved.”

The tone is sad but controlled with a sense of distance. This rhythm, the way you played with the sentences, serves your theme well. Also for being short and somewhat fragmented, your sentences left a sense of mourning in me.

Your images are haunting and emotionally complex, too. Such as, “No one should have known the terrible beauty of your tears in my arms”

Then, the line “And yet, they say no one weeps over a mere breakup now” is a striking and somewhat detached observation. I believe the detachment I sensed here is in itself powerful, although it seems to contrast the intimate tone of most of the poem.

Overall, I feel this piece ls an elegy for both a love and the writer's own self. This is because it is introspective, cinematic, yet understated, however, in a mature light.

Then, in my humble opinion, it is quite fit for a literary publication as a finished short lyric prose piece.

Congrats for writing it.

Suggestions on the text as to grammar, usage, and punctuation

I saw no problems in this area.

Best wishes with your work.



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .