Hello, Kurt Philip Behm,

Here is a review for your "Invalid Item" .

Comments and Observations:

Oh, the paradox of poetic creation! Don't we all know about that creative struggle! But you have captured it so elegantly. I find this poem to be striking, yet polished, solid, and rich in concept.

The best thing that put a smile on my face is what most poets could relate to: a poetic confessional. A confessional by a poet who both reveres and resents the discipline of verse.

Even so, voice and meter are strong and the rhythm is tight and on-purpose. You have the "formal" control perfectly. Also, this control gives a stronger meaning and emotional depth to the poet's "chains" in "prison" as the metaphor. Delightfully so with “New couplets my jailer // their sentences cursed” Plus, there is no forcing in your words and lines.

In addition, internal rhyme and alliteration give the poem its musical quality; for example, "felon of time,” “soul’s contraband,” “serving in silence”

Also, I like the sequence of feeling, here. Your poem advances from being imprisoned, to hope. and to the release of feeling. “Trapped in the meter” > “Awaiting its pardon” >“My words liberated// to forever ascend” This upward motion leads to closure ad it is very effective.

The ending line, “My words liberated — to forever ascend” is very good and clean. Only, I am wondering if that "ascent" could be better shown with a strong image. I mean something like, “as song into sky” or “to echo beyond time,” but this is up to you.

A very good poem overall with introspection and gracefulness.

Suggestions on the text as to grammar, usage, and punctuation

I saw no problems in this area. In fact, this is a very solid poem.

Best wishes with your work.




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .