Hello, cheshire,

Here is a review for your "Iron Paper" .

Comments and Observations:

Let me begin with the title. "Iron Paper". It points to an image and a philosophy. Paper is delicate compared to iron. I am guessing by paper you meant thought, language, expression and things of that nature. But those things can become strong and enduring like iron, especially when clarity, calm and wisdom are added to the "paper." I think, considering what the poem is about, it is an apt title.

As to the poem itself, it feels like a prose poetry or something of a spiritual passage. I felt its movement to be guided strictly, from darkness to light, chaos to order, and weakness to strength. The image of light entering the mind and words turning paper into iron has a strong spiritual and philosophical tone. I'd say it could be something between mysticism and craft.

In addition, this poem has chain of symbols and they are unified. Just look at the chain, here: light > mind > words > paper > iron. This is transformation with some kind of a logic. When words and paper unite with inner (light). it becomes solid and permanent (iron). Your poem, therefore, may be philosophical but it is also clear and understandable.

The pacing is intentional, as if a ritual. This is because each sentence has a pause to let your readers fully absorb it before the next idea or turn. From this angle, the poem felt like a meditation to me.

The heart of the poem, on the other hand, lies in the human experience. The experience of emotional journey from anger and fear to calm and reassurance. This I appreciated the most.

Suggestions on the text as to grammar, usage, and punctuation

I am sure every text can be made better, but I can think of no suggestions in this area since I didn't see any gross mistakes or anything close to that.

Best wishes with your work.




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .