%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4844172 |
 | A Flight To Remember  [13+] Inspired by "Ironic" by Alanis Morrisette and the Miracle on the Hudson  |
| (3.5)  A review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  First Impressions: It was very brave of Kevin to take another flight straight after this ordeal, but I suppose he didn’t have a choice if he wanted to see his mother one last time. It’s especially unlucky that something so dramatic happened on his very first flight. I also thought David was the ideal seat neighbour. He was caring, calm and genuinely trying to help, which instantly made him likeable. He didn’t get mentioned during the crash itself though, and I did wonder whether he managed to stay that steady once the situation turned serious.  Suggestions: The story as a whole was very polished and I didn’t notice any technical errors. My only real suggestion is about pacing. The opening with Kevin and David worked well because it gave the readers something emotional to hold onto. But once the perspective shifted to the cockpit, the step-by-step takeoff procedure slowed things down a little. Since the story was really about the crash and the people experiencing it, those technical moments aren’t as vital and could be trimmed. The crash itself also felt slightly understated. The atmosphere didn’t fully come across, and I think that’s where the story could really shine. Expanding Kevin’s panic, the sounds inside the cabin, the pilots’ fear or determination - all of that would make the reader feel the stakes more vividly. The landing on the river is over very quickly, and it’s such a dramatic moment that it deserves a few extra beats. Even a short description of the impact or the pilot’s split-second decisions would make it far more gripping.  Final Thoughts: Overall though, this was a strong story with a satisfying ending. The characters were likeable, the writing was clean and the emotional arc - Kevin facing his fear, surviving, and still reaching his mother in time - worked well. With a little more tension during the crash and a tighter middle section, this could be even more powerful.
|
|||
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
My review has been submitted for consideration in "
You have not yet responded to this review.