Hi
Spooky staiNe

This is the third poem I am reviewing and this is a powerful and dark poem!

Here is a detailed review of "~Nearly An Angel"

Overall Impression

This poem is a striking piece of dark Gothic poetry. It successfully evokes a sense of deep tragedy, corruption, and irreversible loss. The imagery is visceral and designed to shock, painting a vivid picture of a once-pure being (the "angel") dragged through suffering and depravity by a destructive relationship ("your love").

The central theme—the mutilation of an innocent soul by a corrupting force—is clear and intensely felt.
Analysis and Strengths
* Powerful, Contrasting Imagery: The poem's greatest strength lies in its stark, uncompromising contrasts. The opening stanza sets the stage beautifully:
* Nearly touched heaven (Purity/Past) vs. Crawled through hell (Corruption/Present)
* Saw demons pray (Twisted reality)
This immediately establishes a world where moral boundaries are shattered.
* Visceral and Shocking Language: The middle stanzas are intensely physical and disturbing, which is highly effective for the dark tone:
* Kissed the dead still fresh, and felt their wet lips.
* Cried rivers of crimson blood.
These lines go beyond mere sadness, suggesting a complete and utter violation of the natural order and a self-inflicted, agonizing pain.
* Strong Climax and Theme:

The final two stanzas deliver the emotional punch, shifting the focus to the observer ("you") and revealing the cause of the angel's fall. The conclusion is impactful and assigns clear blame: "until your love mutilated her." This turns the abstract tragedy into a personal, heartbreaking accusation.

* Structure and Flow:

The four-line stanzas (quatrains) provide a steady, almost narrative pace, making the shocking content digestible. The structure is consistent and reinforces the poem's relentless progression toward its dark conclusion.

Tips for Improvement
* Pacing in the "Smiling" Stanza: The fifth stanza, detailing the encounter with the fallen angel, is slightly dense and could benefit from stronger verbs or a more varied rhythm.
* Her tears cause you to painfully swim. (A slightly less common metaphor, though evocative.)
* Consider slightly breaking up the actions to allow the reader to pause on the horror: Look into her empty eyes. / Stifle your silent screams, / as she smiles in greeting. The transition from "screams" to "smiles" is excellent, but the overall rhythm of that stanza is a bit rushed compared to the powerful opening.

* Rhythm and Meter: While the poem relies on rhythm more than a strict meter, a few lines feel slightly more prose-like than others. For instance, the final line, "until your love mutilated her," is emotionally powerful but could be sculpted into a slightly more rhythmically devastating final statement (though its current directness is also effective).

As a poet you have a clear voice and are unafraid to explore the darkest corners of emotional pain.

sindbad



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .