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Review #4847055
Viewing a review of:
 
Meeting Rachel Open in new Window. [E]
Two Americans meet at the German Christmas Market.
by StephBee Author Icon
Review of Meeting Rachel  Open in new Window.
Review by Tiggy ❄️ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*StarO* A review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.*StarO*




*PenB* First Impressions:

I saw this posted in the newsfeed yesterday, and since I’ve just been to visit some Christmas markets, I had to take a look. You captured the atmosphere very well. Ours didn’t have a bonfire pit (although that would have been a great idea, freezing as it was!) but I recognised the rest. Only a five minute queue for the Glühwein though, that’s quick! The food and drink booths always have the longest queues.

This feels like it’s the beginning of a longer story. Jack and Rachel have only just met, and you set this up well to leave the readers (and Jack) with questions. Rachel’s secret sounded intriguing, but the story seemed lighthearted enough that the readers will think it’s nothing terrible. The main focus is the fact that they were clearly attracted to each other, and it would be interesting to see where their budding romance will go.


*PenG* Suggestions:

The story was well written but I noticed a few small errors:

her dark navy peacoat was a perfect on her
“was perfect on her” or “was a perfect fit”, maybe?

I wanted to get a Weihnachten candle for my apartment
I realise Rachel doesn’t speak fluent German, but the way she used “Weihnachten” as a noun modifier here isn’t quite right. It should be the compound noun “Weihnachtskerze”. That might cause a problem because most readers won’t know that a “Kerze” is a candle, but maybe something like “Weihnachtscandle” would work (that sounds like me talking to my daughter-in-law; we tend to mix languages and use whichever word pops into our heads first…) Or leave it as it is, since her German isn’t perfect.

I’m not quite sure where what word curiosity came from
I think that was meant to say, “where that word…”

and seller’s face lit up
Just a missing word, “and the seller’s face.”


*PenP* Final Thoughts:

I assume that some of this was written from your own experiences, and it showed that you clearly knew what you were talking about. It was a gentle story with a promise of Christmas romance, and I enjoyed the read.




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