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Review #4852299
Viewing a review of:
 The Great Noodle Rebellion - 523 Words Open in new Window. [E]
Skylar has decided to make a special meal. It would be special if she knew how to cook
by John Author Icon
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#4852299
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hello, John Author Icon, and thank you for the opportunity to read and review your work.

I usually try to have some sort of constructive criticism in every review, but this was basically perfect. I loved every second of it. It was positive, heartwarming, and repeatedly laugh-out-loud funny. Once or twice I even reread a snippet just so I could laugh again. *Laugh*

But in the spirit of the WDC reviewing system, I'll go ahead and share with you my reactions to various pieces and parts so you know what worked for me and why.

Voice/Character
I love this character. The self-proclaimed part-time college student, full-time overachiever oozes confidence despite being entirely inept in both the grocery store and the kitchen. Even when the reactions of her family very politely, but still clearly, point to a disaster of a meal, it doesn't phase Skylar one bit. I love what that says about the support she received in her upbringing, which is nice symbolism in a piece about the Chinese New Year and its emphasis on family.

Story
Amazingly, despite the brevity of the piece and comedic focus, you have a complete plot:
Protagonist: Skylar
Goal: Prepare a meal for her family
Conflict: She's a terrible cook
Antagonist: Basically her own impatience and apathy about details
Climax: Despite the disaster of a meal, she invites her family anyway
Resolution: Her family still loves her despite her failings in the kitchen; also Dad probably has some wicked gas!

Comic Effect
You demonstrate some comedic genius in this piece. Specifically, you did a great job with absurdity, callbacks / running gags and with zingy one-liners.
Utter Nonsense and Absurdity
- The fact that she bought all the wrong ingredients. Nobody would actually do that, which is why it's absurd, but it's funny because it's a caricature of real life. Basically, she grabbed all the wrong things because she couldn't find the right ones, and ultimately she was just tired of being at the grocery store. How relatable is that? Grocery stores suck, especially on weekends and right before big holidays (e.g., Chinese New Year?) Next time, maybe she should try ClickList or InstaCart!
- Hissing tofu - I don't even want to know, lol
- Deep-fried live squid with cinnamon and called "crispy apple snacks" - absurd because, obviously, no one would ever mistake a calamari ring for an apple, and second....... how does one cook a live squid?? Is this a lobster and crab situation, or is this something involving a knife? Trying to stay within the "E" rating here, lol, but the point is, for someone who can barely cook packaged Ramen noodles, that she even knew how to start with the live squid, let alone successfully cooking it so that it even resembles an apple/calamari ring is completely ridiculous.

Callbacks
Dad asked for seconds of the black bean rice, which you earlier referred to as "The Midnight Gas Pudding", which was initially supposed to be crushed red pepper. The piece is short and fast-paced enough that the callback strategy here was super effective despite my terrible memory.

One-Liners
- "...I can't spell 'molasses' without Googling it" - and also, honestly, the "well, more rice vinegar" line leading into the molasses joke
- Mom "once burned water" (also an example of absurdity)
- I loved your new use for an old cliche: "Best thing since sliced donuts"

Thanks again for the read. I really enjoyed it.

Cheers,
Michelle

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