This week: On Online Abuse Edited by: Kit  
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Have you ever received a negative online message? How did you handle it?
Words can harm, even when they're sent by a stranger from across the globe.
This week's Drama Newsletter, then, is all about online abuse.
Kit |
A long, long time ago, when I was a teenager, I did the unthinkable. I bought albums released by both Take That and East 17. I enjoyed them, too. This may not sound like an issue at all – it is totally possible to enjoy more than one band – but at that time, amongst teenagers (and especially teenage girls) the rules were clear: you supported either one or the other. There was a clear line drawn in the world of music that ought never to be crossed.
I, however, had plenty of room for cheesy boyband music in my young heart. And for cute boys. So, I failed to acknowledge such a line existed, much to the outrage of my peers, and to the dismay of my poor mom who had to listen to all of it.
It wasn’t a new phenomenon. There were the Beatles and the Rolling Stones, the mods and the rockers – rivalries have existed throughout history, all around the globe, and it’s okay, it can be fun, as long as there’s a shared respect.
It’s that way in sports, mostly. People support rival athletes, and rival teams, and it’s fun. My husband and his brothers all support rival football teams and when they play against the other the supporter of the winning team might send a teasing message to the supporter of the losing team. My sister and I enjoy Formula 1 and support different drivers. Unfortunately for me, hers has won several championships in a row when one of my favourites didn’t get a seat this year and the other… well, he went to join Ferrari. But again, we have fun. There are a few people however, who take it too far. Supporters who attack the other, fight the other, destroy businesses and property. Sports fans, music fans, who attack other fans, and artists and athletes on social media. It may not seem as though it could do a lot of damage, a message sent to someone across the world. Just a few typed words. Yet, that someone is a person, a human being, and words do matter. And if you receive message after message of hatred and toxicity, some of that will chip away at a person’s confidence. Receive enough of it for long enough and there may be lasting damage.
I will never understand the reasons why someone would send an artist negative messages about their appearance. Or, send anyone negative messages about their appearance. What is the purpose of telling a stranger you don’t like their hair, or their teeth, or their eyes? It is not helpful, nor is it kind. Sadly, some messages go even further than this, all the way up to the most horrific threats. I have exited a few places because I could no longer stand the abuse, and I’m not in the spotlight. For those who are, it must be relentless.
So why do people do it? Why do they spend their time and energy unleashing their negative emotions on people they have never met and will likely never meet? There is no value in it.
Perhaps it’s a way to let out their frustrations, but whatever problems they have in their lives, there is no solution to be found here. Perhaps it’s a search for power, but whilst words can and do cause harm, what power is there to be found in sending one’s toxicity into the void? Being horrible online doesn’t solve anything. It doesn’t fix anything.
It’s said that sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never harm me, but that is nonsense. Verbal abuse is real, and does cause harm. Emotional abuse is real, and does cause harm. Online abuse, then, harms. It is no innocent outlet. It’s not a game.
Nor can one support their favourite by tearing down their rivals. It does not make your favourite play better, or sing better, or act better. Many artists and athletes love their fans, but they are horrified by the actions of those few who behave badly in their name.
Indeed, you may do damage to your favourites by behaving negatively. When a fandom earns a bad reputation, it affects the artist’s reputation. Fewer people will want to engage with them, and with their work. It can put off potential new fans and chase away previously-devoted ones.
I’m no doubt preaching to the choir here. Writing.Com is the kindest, most supportive community I have ever encountered. In my 20 years on the site I have rarely encountered trouble and where I have it was dealt with swiftly and efficiently by the staff. The staff communicates openly with the community. And the people here generally want to help others, and want this place to remain a safe haven for writers and creatives. Still, I don’t think it hurts to reiterate the message that just because you like one thing, it doesn’t mean that you can’t like another. And even if you only like the one thing, it doesn’t mean that you have to try and harm its perceived competition.
It’s a big world out there. There’s room for a wide variety of tastes and styles, skills and creative outlets. Let’s let people love what they love, whilst we love what we love. We can all do this in peace and let everyone be happy.
Isn’t it nicer that way?
Kit
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The Drama Newsletter Team
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Drama: June 25, 2025 Issue [#13206]
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