This week: Sibling Rivalry Edited by: THANKFUL SONALI Party Hopping!   More Newsletters By This Editor 
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I was with a friend this afternoon. Now in her sixties, she was her Dad's favourite child. Her older siblings - a sister and brother - took five decades to get over their resentment of this.
I've been noticing the effect of sibling rivalry on people lately, and I thought I'd ask readers what role they feel it plays in our lives - and what it means for us as writers. |
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Dear Reader,
What does sibling rivalry have to do with 'Action/Adventure'? Well - it's this - I've realised that in one way or another, the type of childhood we've had affects us through our adult life. Our interactions, relationships, professional and personal decisions somehow hark back to our early years.
Sibling rivalry being an important part of childhood, it can be a powerful tool for a writer of any genre.
A friend told me this afternoon that she was her father's favourite child, and her older sister and brother were constantly being goaded to 'be like her'. She was who she was, and didn't ask her father for this preferential treatment. In fact, she often urged him to read her sister's poems or attend her brother's performances as a singer. Her father shrugged these suggestions off and continued to extol her academic achievements.
Fifty years later, she was at a birthday party. The party was for her brother's granddaughter, just turned five. It was a small gathering - only immediate family. She arrived early and was already there wen her brother and sister-in-law walked in.
Her brother took one look at her and then turned to his daughter-in-law, the birthday girl's Mom. "What is she doing here?"
"She's the child's grand-aunt," the young lady stammered. "Your other sister is here, too."
"I'm not asking about my other sister, I'm asking about her."
Needless to say, the little gathering went from being cozy to uncomfortably warm in the space of seconds. Everybody stayed around for a somewhat decent length of time and then left.
That weekend, my friend called both siblings over, and they grudgingly accepted her invitation. She managed to have a frank chat with them - it has cleared the air with her sister, but she says it's going to take some more work with her brother.
The world abounds with stories of a similar nature. The loss of potential is tragic - people who could have had happy, healthy, loving relationships with all the shared memories are instead reduced to simmering in each others' company if they meet at all.
And I'm guessing that this spills over to our other interactions and relationships, too. Our hackles rise when someone behaves like a sibling we resent, and we respond to them as we would've to that sibling - instead of the way they needed to be addressed.
It's a lose-lose situation, with the resentment ultimately going both ways. As writers, it gives opportunities to explore the downward spiral in multiple ways - employee thinks of boss as older brother; sportsman thinks of teammate as younger sister -- and more. Try writing dialogue this way!
Thanks for listening!
(Or if you were ignoring me, it's your loss) 
See what I did there? 
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Thanks for the responses to "Let Me Be"
When someone's personality suddenly changes, they may need psychologicaĺ or other medical help, if the condition is persistent or episodic.
This can also apply to your four-legged family members.
Be yourself. Believe in yourself. Help others believe in themselves. oldgreywolf on wheels
wonderfully said I find it is best not to let others expectations be the load stone you have to carry around. I'm to old for all that work Lol markmore
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