This week: Lasting Love vs Love at First SightEdited by: ember_rain
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When I write about love and romance, I can't help but draw off of my own life. Just for the fun of it, a few weeks ago, I looked up the statistics of people my age who got married at 18 and are still married. The statistics apparently didn’t exist. They can tell me that by 35 over 60 percent of people like me are divorced, but the numbers beyond that are either impossible to track or are so nominal you can't give them a percentage rate with any accuracy. It is a sad state of being that I believe writers have the power to fix. Marriage isn't the happily ever after we want to believe it is. It takes a lot more than just love to make it work. Unfortunately, writers have come to believe no one wants to read about the argument over whose turn it is to get up with the baby at 2 a.m. or why he hasn't taken the trash out yet. Maybe it's time for us to get over that and give people the full picture of love eternal.
You will find I usually write about things in my own writing I am struggling with. Sometimes, I will have an answer. Sometimes, I will be trying to find one. One thing you can be sure of, you will get a look at writing about love and romance from a hopeless romantic who knows love at first sight does happen and relationships can last, no matter what happens. How long has mine lasted? Almost twenty-two years, join me on this journey won't you?
Note: My apologies to Lonewolf I had no idea when I started on this newsletter that I was writing a rebuttal to his views on love at first sight. Please take what you can from my newsletter and the one that came before and decide for yourself.
Welcome to my first official newsletter. I am grateful to have the opportunity to be a guest editor for you this month.
One of the hardest things I have ever tried to write involved showing how love at first sight doesn't mean that the relationship cannot last. We all know how fleeting the love at first sight is. Most people don't even try to believe in it anymore. The world has become cynical about love in general. So why do I try to turn love at first sight into a relationship for the ages? Simple, I live it.
I met the man of my dreams on August 24, 1989. As of July 20th, we will have been married twenty-two years. I am as in love with him today as I was the day I married him. So, how do you write that without having critics attack you? We have all heard the arguments against Bella and Edward's teenage love in Twilight. Clanbear and I were both still in high school when we met. I know it can be realistic and it can work because we have done it. However, living it, and writing about it realistically, are two different things. So, how do you do that? It is something I struggled with for a long time; then one day the answer hit me.
You don't. My experience with love at first sight, my first thought when he walked into the lunchroom was, Not him not now, don't do this to me. At sixteen, I was done with love. I was tired of boys who were careless and calloused. I had decided that men like my father and grandfather did not exist in my generation, and I was done. Then, he walked in the door and his sister, who was my locker partner, introduced us. I couldn't look at him without the world shifting to the left and the room spinning. I spent the entire lunch period looking at the table until he made me look at him. What did he say? "Tell me who ran over your cat so I can go beat them up for you."
I was in shock. First, the cat that lived in our house hated me. Secondly, I didn't understand what he was thinking when he said that. So I asked and he responded with, "It's the only reason I can see a girl as beautiful as you would look so sad."
He became determined to make me smile. He went so far as to walk me to all my afternoon classes, then met me out in front of the school the next morning because he still hadn't made me smile. That did it, of course. His persistence was endearing. After all of these years it, is still endearing.
So how do you provide them the happily ever after and the love at first sight? Remember as the prince in the play "Into The Woods" tells us, "Princes are raised to be charming, not sincere." Don't write about her prince charming. Write about the person persistent enough to overcome the hurt she has sustained from whatever trauma occurred before they met. Make sure they are both too stubborn to ever call it quits. Give them plenty to overcome, and no matter what, don't forget even in real life, those of us who never say die still occasionally think about divorce. We just fix it before it gets that far.
If you can give them both faults to overcome, and a dedication to making it work that grows through the life of the story (without making it feel like stalking) then you have everything you need to create a great love story.
Now go out and create yours, then tell us all about it.
I have a soft spot for poetry and this one is sweet, romantic and cute all at the same time.
If you have never read Tornado Day 's poetry now is the time. This is one of her best.
I couldn't write a newsletter about love at first sight turning into the true forever kind of love we all dream about without including this poem Clanbear wrote for me. I love you too, Honey.
I know this has been featured before but the contest is about to start up again and I thought that was enough to give it another go around.
Another writing contest. The current round is in the judging stage but it's worth keeping an eye out for the start of the next round.
I love supernatural stories. This one is a good one. I don't want to ruin it for you. But, lets just say love can even save us from ourselves when we are being foolish.
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