This week: WithdrawalEdited by: Robert Waltz
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My parents said that sitting at home playing video games all day won't bring you anywhere in life.
Video games are bad for you? That's what they said about rock-n-roll.
I don't play video games because I know that if I ever started, I'd never be able to maintain a career again.
My laptop died.
I was engrossed in my favorite activity - gaming - at the time, and it suddenly went dark. No amount of tinkering made it shine again.
I'm tech-savvy and not stupid (except for my jokes), so I tried a few things, all the while thinking about the game and wanting to get back to it.
Hour 1: Still dark. Power supply fine. Simply won't turn on.
Hour 2: On phone with customer support.
Hour 3: Still on phone with customer support. Guy's from Costa Rica. Costa Rica is warm. Where I am, not so much.
Hour 4: Probably a fried motherboard. Heart failing. Mouse fingers starting to itch. Must wait for technician. Could be days. Weeks. Shudder. Okay, I can make it.
Hour 5: Newsletter deadline looming. Time to fire up the old Windows XP machine that never had a fried motherboard.
Hour 6: Still trying to get XP machine to work.
Hour 7: There's a reason Microsoft stopped supporting XP.
Hour 8: Vision blurring. Need a nap.
Hour 10: Woke in cold sweat. Was dreaming about game. Cat woke me. She thought my twitching mouse fingers were an actual mouse.
Hour 11: Windows XP machine on, making funny noises. Must test memory, hard drive. Found old copy of Civ IV.
Hour 16: DAMN MONTEZUMA AND HIS ARTILLERY.
Hour 17: Tried to get browser working. Stuck on update screen.
Hour 18: Rebooted. Twice.
Hour 19: Browser updating. Finally. Went to bed. Kicked cat out when she started eyeing my mouse fingers hungrily.
Hour 24: Woke in cold sweat again. Started to sit at laptop. Pressed power button. Remembered the motherboard was fried.
Hour 27: Cat fed. Room (relatively) clean. Checked progress of browser update. Went out for breakfast.
Hour 28: Apparently they don't serve breakfast at 4 pm. Who knew?
Hour 29: Tried to use phone to connect to WDC to write newsletter. Phone keyboard, screen too small. Right hand shaking.
Hour 30: Rebooted XP machine again. Browser working. Yay! Unsure if I can get newsletter in on time.
Hour 36: Woke in cold sweat. Right hand atrophying. Cat continues to eye it.
Day 3: Still no word from technician. Montezuma still thorn in side. I really, really hate February.
Day 4: How long can this go on? Life empty struggle. Hope is lost. All is darkness. Only gloom is real. Went grocery shopping. Found something worse than Christmas music: sappy love songs piped in for Valentine's Day.
Day 5: Technician arrived! Interminable wait for laptop fix commences. Nothing to do but play Civ again.
Games? Pfah. I can quit anytime I want. But why would I want? I will take my revenge on Montezuma! Right after I submit this newsletter.
Some funnies to while away the time:
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Last time, in "Food Fight" , I talked about being healthier.
Lilli : Great NL, Robert! Funny and kinda gave me the munchies... my favorite line:
"So anyway, striking a balance between staying healthier and not having an eating disorder such as veganism is important to me."
Good luck with your continued "healthy eating' efforts!!
Happy New Year, Lilli
Mumsy : You can do it! Although I do wonder how quinoa and flaxseed burger over spinach could be delicious . . . Sorry for getting you off track with the whole eating healthy thing while you were visiting! We didn't do TOO badly ... *cough* right?
It's the latkes that do me in.
Editing with purpose : You are right about one thing. Some of the newsletters are blogs. I like to read the newsletters hoping to find inspiration, help and ways to improve my own writing. If I wanted blogs I'd go read them in their own home.
I figure anything that's funny (to someone) is a lesson in comedy writing.
Monty : Sounds healthy but has it worked?
You know, the best thing about being a pessimist is that if you're wrong, something good happens; and if you're right, you get the satisfaction of being right..
And that's it for me - if I survive the Great Laptop Blackout of 2018, I'll see you next month. Until then,
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