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Comedy: February 06, 2019 Issue [#9368]

 This week: Deep Freeze
  Edited by: Robert Waltz
                             More Newsletters By This Editor  

1. About this Newsletter
2. A Word from our Sponsor
3. Letter from the Editor
4. Editor's Picks
5. A Word from Writing.Com
6. Ask & Answer
7. Removal instructions

I'm not a big fan of cold weather; that's why I moved to Vegas!
         -Dave Keuning

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The recent polar vortex excursion brought temperatures of NOPE to the midwestern US, with wind chills of NOPE NOPE NOPE.

Here in Virginia, it was only moderately colder than usual, so I survived. But it cemented my determination to avoid the central US in the winter. You know why they call it a cold snap? Because you step out the door and your fingers snap off.

As mostly-sentient beings, we've learned over the ages to adapt ourselves to extremes of temperatures. Though lacking fur, we've made ourselves clothing. Having run out of caves to inhabit, we've created buildings for shelter. Having opposable thumbs and imagination, we've taught ourselves to create fire. And for dealing with inclement weather and dangerous situations, we've invented comedy.

And so, being clever, we have come up with ways to deal with extreme cold. I've heard suggestions such as: dress in layers; keep moving; wear mittens instead of gloves; keep heat packs on hand; drink warm beverages to keep up your core temperature... the list goes on.

I, too, have my clever moments, so I've come up with my own suggestions for beating the cold weather. It's taken me a lot of time and thought to come up with solutions, but I freely share them with you, my loyal readers.

They are:

*Bullet* Move to Maui

Thank you for reading!

Some funnies:

Smile! (Groan?) You Know You Love These!  [E]
Want to smile at least once a day? Then read these! Okay, maybe you'll groan some too...
by Sum1

 "Best Made Plans" Winning Entry!!  [E]
A family's plan to camp in Yellowstone National Park
by Happy Spring

Magic Pills  [E]
Day 3 Entry Inquiring Minds Contest - Nugatory Prompt
by Choconut

 The Mighty ‘T’  [E]
Having to say goodbye to my Ford Thunderbird
by buddhaamc

~Do you Snore? Be honest.~  [13+]
I'm curious to know how many people know or will admit that they snore?
by StaiNed knows grief

 Sam I Am - Food Blogger  [E]
A Limerick Dedicated to Theodor Seuss Geisel (Dr. Seuss)
by Prosperous Snow Globe

 First Contact  [E]
What happens when the geek inherit the earth
by Ruth Draves

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Last time, in "You're Doing it Wrong, I talked about everything you're doing wrong, which is, according to the internet, everything.

Mumspie! : I must have read this newsletter wrong, because it sounded like you were suggesting there was room for improvement in my life. *Pthb*

         Well, not yours. Everyone else's.

Editing is BLUE : I just saw a video of a marketing expert talk about what we AREN'T talking about and how food is marketed to consumers without telling us they're involved in intense farming It was a great video and she made her point without pounding it into the viewer's head. In writing, we market our story so the story gradually unfolds and builds to the reveal. We create a need for the reader to become so engaged with the character and plot they can't put the book down! need and want that's what a writer must create.

         Fair enough, but by that time you've already given the author and publisher your money.

And that's it for me for February! I'll be back next month if I don't freeze to death first. Until then,


*Bullet* *Bullet* *Bullet* Don't Be Shy! Write Into This Newsletter! *Bullet* *Bullet* *Bullet*

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